Insomnia

I figured with all the running around I have been doing an extra energy drink wouldn't hurt anything....apparently that is incorrect. Have been trying to sleep for more than 2 hours so I am giving up for the moment.

Finally managed to get new tires on my car this morning. Had to kill two hours at Wally World while I waited. Had breakfast. Located the ATM. ATM would not read card. Walk 1/4 mile down the street with four year old in tow to find another ATM. Perused the disappointingly small toy section until my name was called. Done.

Got to go to the "new" house and meet the previous owners. Tore out some NASTY carpet. And I do mean nasty. The surprise came at the end of the evening when I noted an interesting shape of mold (the scientist part of me really wanted to take a sample to run at the campus lab back home, but I held off) where the washer had been. Fucking disgusting. And Bonus! The floor is completely rotted underneath. This needs to be fixed yesterday. Unfortunately, I am not that handy with a skills saw (shocker, right? The Man, while not good in a fire emergency, is great with a saw). So I have been delegated the task of slathering on primer while the husband works. My mother-in-law is coming up on Friday to help out. Hopefully I can get a lot done by then. If I can eliminate some of the overwhelming cat odor by then, people might actually be willing to enter the house and help out. Carpet removal and paint should help with that. Right?! Anxiety levels are definitely up.

The footage that I watched of the fire back home is really freaking me out. Fire still not contained. Some of my neighbors were interviewed for the local news because the fire was so.close. By the grace of God go I. Thinking about my belongings scattered amongst neighbors and random friends and my cats stashed in the garage of the empty house my mother has up for sale is upsetting. I didn't know if I should head home right away, but I'm generally thinking the disaster waiting for me back home can wait a few days while I attempt to get shit under control here. It seems like every time I head over to be with the Man, everything falls apart at home. Escape artist dog who howls so much at being left alone that Animal Control gets called. Front door that mysteriously opens in the middle of the night, freeing 3 previously indoor cats out into the wild. And now...forest fires.

My crazy little mother is now infamous in my neighborhood for the way she handled things during the fire. She didn't remember where the shed keys were kept so, instead of wasting time looking, my 110 lb mother lopped the lock off with a shovel. The neighbor who observed this started our next conversation with, "So...I met your mother. And I think I see where you get it from now."

I have been vaguely wondering where the hell my period is. I don't seem to have any warning symptoms, but I have had an intense craving for lemonade. And no period. Not sure if I am late, since I had that weird bleeding a few weeks ago that never really resembled a period but went on for several days. If that bleeding was just a freak of a period, I should be fine. If it wasn't....Crap. I want a baby very badly in the next year or so, but I am not on my prenatal diet. And for my own peace of mind I need to be. Pregnancy is too dangerous a journey for me to not go into it ready for battle. When my brother was in town, I went out drinking with him and had a few too many. I also had a few cigarettes with said drinks. Because I have never had a night on the town to hang out with my brother. And for me, traveling a lot naturally comes with a lot of junk food. Cheetos, energy drinks, fast food. And I've been lax on my prenatal vitamins as well. It's too soon to have a meltdown over this obviously, but....it would be exactly like my life for it to happen now instead of at a time when we were done planning for it. I am honestly afraid to touch anyone's baby for fear that my mommy hormones will spike and override my prevention techniques. I've proposed a temporary abstinence program to the Man (to ease my paranoia) but it was not well-received. Huh.

Well, I've written down everything I can think of, and I'm still not tired but I guess it's time to stare at the ceiling some more. Also, please note that I have stopped italicizing the fonts here. It's too girly and it could create some misconceptions about who I am. I'm not that girly.