I literally feel like nursing school is never going to end. I feel like I am swimming in the murky depths somewhere in the middle, with no end in sight. I am going to be perpetually playing continuous Disney movies for my daughter while I flail away at attempting to catch up. And then just give up and watch the damn tv too.
This could, of course, be directly related to the Winter Term Curse of previous years. It hasn't been exceptionally bad or anything, but I feel like I am struggling in the clinical environment. I can't muster much enthusiasm for the boring assignments and days spent rushing around trying to locate a real nurse to sign out meds with me. I am feeling really irritated when a couple other students in my clinical group seem to get opportunities for procedures and extra rotations in departments I have barely been able to get to. Frankly, there are several students that I am just plain sick of.
And at home. I just can't seem to get the house clean. I can't seem to get the study time that I need in. I can't get to the gym. My daughter? She doesn't get 1/4 of the quality time with me that she deserves. Some nights I go to lay down "just for a second" and I am asleep before I can even summon the energy to get up and wash my make-up off. Twice in the last week I have forgotten to feed the dogs dinner.
I haven't had the greatest overall "luck" in my life. I feel like something is going to prevent me from actually graduating. I feel like I will perpetually be in nursing school or, even worse, be kicked out of nursing school due to some as yet unforeseen complication or mistake. Dear God, I just want to be finished. With degree in hand.
I have another paper to write today. Literally have to write it out today because it is due Monday and I have several other classes and assignments that need to be done tomorrow. Monday, it's class all day and Tuesday I leave for a rotation at the state mental hospital. Where I plan to be very careful to act normal, lest I be mistaken for a patient. I have to leave Kiddo with my mom for two nights, which doesn't really ever happen so I'm not thrilled to be leaving her. And she started a new daycare on Friday, so I'm tense about how the transition is going to go for her.
I know I haven't updated on the Financial Clean-Up in awhile. Let's just say it is coming along much more slowly than I would have liked it to. Yesterday, I went on an unnecessary shopping trip and spent money on unnecessary things. Dave Ramsey would not have liked it. Dave Ramsey probably doesn't understand the power of cute pink little girl toys. Still, we are plugging along. I am generally on track to have all bad debts paid off by September. This will leave the student loan debt, housing, and saving for the down payment on a real house. If you are familiar with the Financial Peace University, then I would tell you that the "Debt Snowball" concept is kind of difficult right now. I am basically just throwing chunks of money at the debts right now whenever a little extra money shows up. I haven't really started making regular payments on any of them. I am currently working on a smaller debt that is actually newer than most of the ones we really need to work on. These people are getting their money first because they are ruder, pushier, and scarier than the other debts. So they are getting paid while the older, more polite debts continue to wait. Still, I am aiming to have this one paid off by the end of the month so that I can start making regular payments on another one next month.
Alright, I do believe I have run out of distractions. Need to transfer this brilliance to an actual assignment now.