Thursday, February 16, 2012

Time to Let Go

Have you ever been guilty of hanging on to someone that you should've let go of a long time ago?  It's time for me to let someone go.  There's this "friend."  I haven't wanted her around in, I don't know how long.  I've known she needs to go.  I've known she is nothing but a negative pull on my life.  Mistakenly, I've thought she could see past herself and be happy for another human being.  I don't know why I've been holding on.  A piece of my old self, I guess.  Someone who knew me before I lost a child.  As I've progressed through my grief journey I've learned that there are, unfortunately, people who have to be cut out or have chosen to cut themselves out.  And it's sad.  It's hard.  No one wants to feel like there are people out there who don't wish them well.  No one wants to "lose" an old friend.  But in this case, the truth is she's been gone for awhile.  I can't carry it around anymore.  I can't wish she could find it in her heart to be happy for me anymore.  And carrying around this sadness is hurting me.  I have enough to carry.  I have enough to survive.  I do have people who love me, care about me, hope that my family and I are happy and healthy.

I realize this post sounds a little strange and cryptic.  That's not the intention.  I just want to be free of a piece of sadness and hurt that's been weighing me down.  So today's the day.


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