Just When I Was Getting Comfortable

Well...Today I drove the hour and a half to see SmallTownMD for a 30 week checkup.  Then I did a marathon grocery shopping trip.  I had a big menu all planned out so that I could do a bunch of freezer meals for after the baby comes.  

During the marathon shopping trip I had a few contractions.  Not abnormal for me at all.  I finished my errands and got on the road towards home.  I noticed another contraction so I picked up my phone and noted the time.  I kept driving.  I had another contraction and picked up my phone to note the time.  It had been 4 minutes.  Still I kept driving, telling myself it was just the busy day catching up with me.  3 minutes later, another.  

After 6 contractions worth of telling myself it would go away, I took the closest interstate exit and turned back towards the hospital.  Towards the hospital where I had Matthew 6 years ago.  The hospital that I prayed I would NEVER return to.

I had the Kiddo with me so I quickly woke her up from her nap and explained the best I could.  I called the hospital and told them my name and that I would be arriving in about 20 minutes.  They definitely remembered me.  My nurse tonight is the nurse who checked my cervix upon my arrival 6 years ago and bolted from the room without saying a word.  I'm not in the same room, thank goodness.

I was hoping it was all in my head, but no such luck.  Regular contractions and a fingertip dilated.  SmallTownMD, bless his heart, came right in and said, "I'm guessing you'd like some steroids!"  It made me take back nearly every bad thought I've ever had about him. 

So I've had terbutaline x 2, betamethasone, a bunch of IV fluids, and 2 ambien that obviously have not kicked in yet.  

All things considered, I am doing ok.  We are doing ok.  I really do not want this little guy to come out yet, but I also know that 30.5 weeks + steroids = a better NICU situation than last time.  At least that's what the brochure says.  I'm also terrified they will decide to fly me out of this hospital because I have one too many contractions.  I don't want it to be serious enough to ship me out. 

The hardest part of today was letting my dad and his wife come get my daughter.  If you've hung around this blog a bit you know I don't have the easiest relationship with my dad and the wife.  But even more than that?  I never enjoy a separation from my baby girl.  I know she's 5 and a half.  I know she'll be ok.  But she was so worried about me.  Jerry had to pry her little arms from around his neck to put her in the car with them.  I miss my baby girl.  I hate that she has to worry in her little heart for her mama and baby brother.  I miss my dog.  I wish I could go home.

Another thing that makes me seriously anxious is how fast information travels in my family.  I called Jerry and my mom.  Then I had to call my dad when it became obvious that I wouldn't be going anywhere tonight.  Next thing I know my brother and my grandma are texting my dad, several aunts have texted me, my stepmother is out in the hall on the phone, and Jerry's mother is calling.  I just need everyone to not panic and let me be the boss of everything right now.  

It is actually progress for me to notice contractions with a pattern and come into the hospital less than 7.5 centimeters dilated.  So yay!  I guess a "fingertip dilated" is progress.

Hopefully my next post will be a boring one, but please pray for us until then.