I think it's time I faced up to it. I...am completely absentminded. Always have been. I forget things constantly. Constantly. I may have early-onset Alzheimer's. I stare off into space and forget what I was doing. If I open a book, I do not hear anything anyone tries to say to me. I stick my phone somewhere specific so I know where it is, then proceed to leave the room and lose it. I enter rooms and forget what I came in for. The Kiddo asks me for something and I will say "yes" and immediately forget about it only to have her come up to me twenty minutes later all indignant because I've forgotten to get it for her. Jerry does this too but it's not nearly as cute.
When I was a young lass, it was usually good for a laugh and only a mild inconvenience. I think it got much worse when I started trying to reproduce. Ever hear of "pregnancy brain?" I'm pretty sure I still have it. I can't remember anything.
Today I had to drive 30 miles to get to the nearest grocery store. I am not used to this at all. I am used to populated areas with a variety of stores. So trips to the store now require planning. I make a list. I always make a list. Kiddo and I head to the store. During my drive I remember that I forgot to put pickles on the list. "I'll add it to my list when I get there," I think to myself. We arrive at the store. I do not remember to put pickles on the list. After several minutes of wandering the aisles I remember that I need pickles and I did not put them on the list. "Surely I won't forget the pickles," I think to myself. No need to add them to the list when I'm already in the store and obviously know what I'm here for. Then we are standing in the checkout line and I realize that I did not get the pickles. Or the celery and the eggs. No matter. I decide I will stop by the tiny local grocery store after we drive back and grab the items I missed. No big deal. Kiddo and I drive the 30 miles back to this sorry excuse for civilization, and swing by the gas station sized "grocery store" that is a few blocks from the house. We get home, unpack the groceries, and start dinner. I am midway through cooking when I realize I did not get the pickles. I end up calling Jerry and sweet-talking him into stopping on the way home from work to buy pickles.
This folks, is not the first time such a thing has happened to me. The concerning part of this is that I have to take a little test in the next few weeks. You know, just my nursing boards. No big deal. I haven't gotten much studying accomplished in the weeks since graduation, and I'm pretty sure I've forgotten it all. My practice test scores seem to be corroborating this theory too. I have a sneaking suspicion I didn't know much to begin with and now I've forgotten it all.
And in the bigger picture, I'm pretty sure this absentmindedness puts me at a high risk of accidentally killing someone at work. You know, as in, "Oh, I don't need to check the medications again because I already looked them over when I was getting them ready." Right. I will ALWAYS be triple checking my medication orders for this very reason. I have a personal goal of never being responsible for a patient's demise.
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