Monday, November 21, 2011

Why the "Natural Childbirth" Moms Irritate Me

There isn't much that's more irritating to me in Labor and Delivery than mommies who are competitive about the way their child comes into the world.  Seriously?  If you think gritting your teeth through a labor in which you are blessed to have everything go well makes you a better mommy in the long doesn't.  And if a doctor tells you that you need a C-section, you have no business arguing with him unless you also have a high level degree in the medical profession.  Even then you should probably shut it.  If you do not know what the word "hypoxia" means and how your stalling may be contributing to this condition in your unborn fetus you should probably shut it.  His advice does not mean you should argue, refuse for the next 6 hours while your baby displays intermittent distress, and then continue to argue as you are wheeled into the operating room.  We know, we know.  You have a birth plan.  You want to do this the right way.  C-sections increase the risk of complications.  So does fetal distress, my friend.  I mean, congratulations on being tough and all, but I think your priorities might need some adjusting.  The goal here is:  baby. out. alive. with no brain damage.  Unfortunately, it's your baby and you need to be the one to see that and do the right thing. 

I have seen many mothers pull this, but I'm starting to notice a common thread.  The "natural birth" moms seem to do this more.  And some of them are also the mommies to whom it all came easily:  conception, pregnancy, baby--in exactly that order with no trouble at all.  So some of these mommies have no actual clue what it is like to walk a mile in a mommy's shoes who really had to work for it.  And as a C-section mommy (it wasn't my choice people, just wanted my kid out alive) who has been judged a few times for the way my births have gone down, I find it incredibly annoying.  Take that C-section and own it, sister.  I consider breastfeeding the true predictor of the "hardcore mommy" anyway.  Childbirth is not a competitive sport.  Now cupcake baking for that child's preschool class in four years....different story.

1 comment:

  1. I'm with you on this - I just don't get the competitiveness of it. It's labor, haven't they heard enough stories from other moms (about how the event wound up going in a totally different direction than they planned) to know that there are no guarantees that things will go a certain way just because you want them to and "plan" for them to?

    For me, I think that's the most annoying part - the attitude that "I planned it to be this way, so of course that's how it's going to go. Why on earth would it ever not?" For those of us who "planned" for something to go a certain way (say, a pregnancy actually lasting more than about 5 minutes) and then over and over again it didn't go that way, that attitude just grates...

    I remember during one of my earlier pregnancies, when I was still at a regular OB's, his nurse asked about my birth plan. (Keep in mind, I was all of something like 6 or 7 weeks along at this point.) I told her it was a 4-part plan, and she was poised to begin writing. Then I said, "In the order of priority: 1) Everybody gets out of this alive, 2) As healthy as possible, 3) With as minimial pain as possible, 4) As quickly as possible. Whatever has to be done to make that happen, fine with me." She thought I was kidding...