The Kiddo has been sleeping with me pretty much constantly since Jerry went to North Dakota. For the last week or so she has been asking for glow sticks instead of a night light. Since she usually just leaves them on her wrist, I have been giving them to her. Last night she really didn't want to go to bed. I give her a glow stick. I am folding laundry and watching television when she wanders into the room saying, "My eye hurts." Assuming this is a variation on the usual, "Mommy my tummy hurts" or "Mommy I need another hug" bedtime-avoidance tactic, I march her back to bed. Well, I didn't need to turn on the bedroom light because as soon as we stepped into the darkness of the room I noticed that the entire bed was bathed in a green fluorescent glow. I amend my voice from one of mild exasperation to one of frantic concern. "Which eye did you say was hurting, baby?" We spend the next 15 minutes flushing the eye under the bathroom faucet and with most of a bottle of saline while she screams. When we are through she asks me for another glow stick. It breaks my heart when I tell her "No" and her eyes fill up with tears. She says, "Because I won't break it, Mommy." As though I am mad at her! Poor child. She was treated to three extra bedtime stories and I was treated to a reality check on my common sense. Or lack thereof. Hope I've made you all feel like a better parent for the day.
I was pretty irritated at having to drag myself out of bed and go to class this morning. I am trying to remind myself that after years--YEARS-- of struggle, I am finally going to be done. There is an actual end in sight. It seems like far away at this moment, but 7 more months in the grand scheme of things is doable. I think I've been a little depressed because I may have to move to a really small town after graduation. Small towns have no NICUs. I like nursing, find all the medical aspects really interesting, but the truth is that the heart of why I'm doing this is so that I can do NICU. And in the town I currently live in, I have a great shot at getting a NICU position right out of nursing school next spring. A shot that I have worked my butt off to get. But I can't stand to be away from Jerry, and the Kiddo misses him terribly, and we want to have another baby (I may have mentioned this baby obsession before). So, the fact is, I may have to turn down my dream job offer to move to a tiny town and work in a nursing home or something. That depresses me. I am doing my best to just let go of the things I can't control and trust God that I will end up where I'm supposed to be.
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