34 Weeks and 2 Days

I feel like the days are really creeping by, but we are all doing okay.  I do not yet have a date for the section because Dr. VBAC obviously has commitment issues.  The party line at his office is no C-sections before 39 weeks, but I am eyeballing Friday, March 15th.  I'll be 38 weeks and 4 days.  I'm hoping he will go for this date because it will be easier to get my mother here to watch Roo and have Jerry and my other family here if it's right around the weekend as opposed to Monday the 18th when I am officially 39 weeks.  Also, is it so bad to not want to risk having my child born on St. Patrick's Day?  I don't want him jerked out of the womb too early, but every day that Dr. VBAC pushes me to go past about 38 weeks makes me nervous.  I fear stillbirth.  I fear it in a way that only a mother who has held her dead child in her arms can fear it.  And Jerry is hours away during the week trying to keep some semblance of normality in our lives by maintaining his work schedule.  The longer the doctor makes me wait for a scheduled section, the higher my chances of going into labor and risking Jerry missing the whole show.  I would be so sad if he missed the birth.  He would be heartbroken if he missed it.  Anyway, we will see if any of these reasons appeal to Dr.VBAC's sense of humanity.  Actually, I'm not sure he has a sense of humanity so it could be a long shot. 

The first batch of medical bills from the plane ride and hospitalization has been processed and paid by my insurance.  Now we have to fork out.  Ouch.  I've been combing the itemized bills with a fine-tooth comb and negotiating left and right.  In short, it sucks. And I am far from done.   I'm hoping to get this batch of bills taken care of before I deliver.  One less thing to stress about.  Maybe I will put up a nice long post with the breakdown of costs when I am all done. 

Being stuck in this "halfway" house having to mingle with many different kinds of people and entertain my child is driving me crazy.  Do I sound like I'm in rehab when I say "halfway house?"  If so, allow me to clarify.  I am not an addict of any kind of substance.  

But being back in the city is pure bliss.  Or at least it would be if Jerry were able to be here all the time.  I was granted permission to be on my feet for 20 minute intervals a few times a day so I have been taking advantage of the adequate shopping.  It is a bit harder to find cute things for little boys.  I've noticed the baby girl sections are larger and filled with more clothing than the baby boy sections in pretty much every store I've been to.  Since I previously only shopped in the girl's section, this never bothered me.  Still, I'm quite up to the challenge these days, and Roo and I have been making some great finds.

I have been unable thus far to take the tags off of any of the stuff.  There is a part of me that cannot fathom that we might actually get to use these baby clothes.  I did take tags off a pair of tiny pajamas a week ago, but only because Roo was in desperate need of a pair of pajamas for her doll to borrow.  Other than that?  Even the bassinet is in its box still.  And I certainly haven't opened the breast pump or done any baby laundry.  This weekend I get to go home for a day to visit my furbabies (yay!) and quickly gather supplies before heading back to the city.  I am going to pack Little Guy's bag for the hospital, but I am still waiting to take the tags off until at least the night before.  

As for the baby, he is still quite a pleasant little fetus.  He moves at frequent enough intervals that I don't worry much.  He seems to really like Roo's little voice when she talks to him.  He does have this thing he does to my bladder...all of a sudden I will feel like I am about to pee my pants out of nowhere.  Thankfully I've yet to actually lose bladder control, but it does necessitate a rapid walk to the bathroom.