Feeling a Bit Overwhelmed (or 14 Weeks)

I had a strong desire to title this post "Ugh." but I'm not sure I haven't already used it.  Anyway, I'm going for eloquence, I guess, and avoiding the urge. I feel like this post could be split into more than one but since I keep letting nearly a week pass without posting, I've got a bit of a blogging build-up.  So once again, I will exercise my right to brain-dump all over my own blog. 

First of all--I'm officially 14 weeks today.  I've been feeling a lot less sick and exhausted the past week or two.  I guess I finally got that 2nd trimester lift I was hoping for.  The down side of feeling better is that the paranoia has really kicked in.  Have you seen these?

geekologie.com

Yes, my friend, that is an ultrasound attachment for your smartphone.  It retails for approximately $7300.  Pocket change, right?  There will probably be a bargain-priced version available a month after my last pregnancy.  Alas, that kind of constant reassurance is not available to me.  I had delayed getting a doppler because the constantly feeling like crap is actually a lot more reassuring than it sounds, and as long as I was doing ok I didn't deem it necessary.  But now I'm freaking out a little.  It's still two weeks to my next ultrasound (where I may even find out the sex!) and I can't take the wondering if there's still a baby in there.  So I just reluctantly forked out quite a chunk of change for a doppler.  I was going to rent one again, but since I'm hoping this won't be my last pregnancy and I know I'll want to keep it through the end of this pregnancy I figured I might as well buy.  I'm hoping that it is able to provide the reassurance I seek.  You never know with me.  I know there are those who claim to start feeling movements around 14 weeks (or earlier), but I don't even start to feel little flutters until about 16-18 weeks and nothing truly solid until around 20.  And I just have to say that since bone ossification doesn't even start until around 14 weeks, I'm not sure how much I believe people who claim kicks at 10 weeks.  It's just not evidence-based to me.  But to each their own.  Anyhow.

Today was an aggravating kind of day.  I didn't expect it to be.  It was one of those days where I was on the phone for HOURS trying to sort my life out with no real productivity happening.  My friend and I have decided to branch away from The Nursing School from Hell to complete our bachelor's degrees and we thought it would be fun to choose a new school together.  My other two girls from school aren't ready to jump back into school just yet.  So Kate and I applied together and have been having a heck of a time with this new school's admission process being really disorganized.  I spent an excessive amount of time on the phone between the two schools today trying to figure out where the transcript that I requested 3 weeks ago was because both schools only seem interested in blaming me or each other.  Like I said.  Ugh.  I am up against a serious deadline here because I really really want to start by the end of October and I do not know if that's going to happen right now.

I then proceeded to panic about the fact that I only applied to one RN to BSN program and convince Kate that we should apply to a backup.  Immediately.  Then we filled out our applications together.  Tomorrow we are making the commute up to The Nursing School from Hell to try to get both of our potential BSN programs some fricking transcripts.

Next, it was onto ironing out the details for the sale of my little house.  Moving time is upon us and it's just stuffed full of 30-day notices and projected move out dates and a million little details.  Plus I'm moving to Nowhereville (in case I haven't mentioned it yet) so I'm trying to do some fall shopping for the Kiddo and maternity shopping for myself.  I'm also in the market for a new sofa.  And the car needs a tune-up.  I've barely gotten a start on the packing.  And I want the Kiddo to get to enjoy the perks of living in a city that I know she will be missing in a few months time.  I'm exhausted from just trying to write this list.

Kiddo was pretty much left to her own devices the entire day.  Poor little lady.  I feel like I've missed out on so much quality time with her over the last few years and I really want to soak it all up in the coming months.  I'm wondering how I'm going to manage to do that between being so busy and being the kind of person who has a difficult time just being still.  Five years old is such an awesome, mind-blowing age.  She is just the funnest, cutest, smartest little whipper-snapper ever.  I am just so grateful, so LUCKY to have her and I don't want to miss the whole show.  I hate feeling like I'm not doing right by her.  Today was one of those days.