A Good Day

I've really missed my blog. For weeks now, I've been floundering along, stumbling through each day plagued by self-doubt and depression and lots of other crap.  April really sucks.  I don't have the heart to ruin my good day by describing it in detail.  It sucked.

But it's May.  Thank God.  The lilacs will be blooming here in the next few days, the snow is melting from the mountain tops and everything is gloriously, brilliantly green.  Today I had my last big nursing school test.  I think most nursing students would be familiar with Kaplan?  It was Readiness Test day today, the test that predicts a student's readiness for the national licensure exam.  It is a requirement at The Nursing School From Hell to attain a Readiness Test score that translates to having a 95% chance of success on the licensure exam--before they will let you graduate.  Basically, you walk at graduation next month but you DO NOT have a degree before they say so.  No degree means no licensure exam and no job.  I was in the last group to test, having worked 8 night shifts in the last 10 days.  Walking into the test, only 3 people before me had passed it.  I hadn't found the time/motivation to get the studying in that I needed and my practice test scores have been subpar at best.  My preceptorship has been terrible and I just survived April.  My friends that usually test right with me or just below me in scores had all failed it already.  It wasn't looking good.

Guess what?  I rocked that sucker.  I have no idea how, but I did.  A huge weight has been lifted. I think God knew I couldn't handle the extra pressure right now of having to retake that stupid test.   I am done with testing, folks.  Done.  I was driving home and it hit me that this whole nursing school business may actually have a successful outcome.  I'm still not counting my chickens before they hatch, but I have one paper and 4 shifts of my preceptorship left to finish.  Hopefully I'll be screaming from the rooftops a month from now.  

So tonight I have just been basking in the glow of my unanticipated success.  Vampire Diaries season finale (not sure how I'm going to make it without a new episode for 4 months) followed by Grey's Anatomy.  Takeout and popcorn with the Kiddo.  My house is a mess and I need to go grocery shopping, but tonight I don't care.  I am now snuggled into bed with the Kiddo snoozing beside me watching Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy and pinning crap on Pinterest.  Today was a good day.

In other news....still trying my damndest to get knocked up but trying to lay off the obsessive cycle monitoring.  My body hasn't been coping well with all the stress and my cycles have been all over the place.  If I'm not preggers by fall, I'll be in the doctor's office demanding Clomid and exaggerating my TTC attempts to grotesque proportions.  In the meantime...at least I can drink at my graduation party.  I even pinned some fun summer drinks.  I'm looking forward to a low anxiety summer.