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Monday, August 24, 2015

Testing, Testing

Is there an Internet record for unintended hiatus time?  I've got to be in the top 10 by now at least.  Life gets so busy and I mostly read blogs from my mobile app, which is annoying to comment from.  I end up never commenting, even when I intend to log on from my computer and comment later.  I never comment, but I promise I read.

We are still here, plugging along, the four of us.  Roo starts 2nd grade in a couple of days and Tanner is 2.  They both rock and I can't get enough of them. 

I suppose I should throw in that we are TTC.  It's not big news, trust me.  We've been TTC for a year.  Cycle 12.  Or, as I tell my friends or friendly coworkers when they ask, "a few months."  I hate talking about it with anyone.  I already feel like an uneducated idiot every time I think about it without some well-meaning person asking me how many csections I've had.   By the time I recount my complicated obstetrical history I can tell the person on the other end is convinced I'm an idiot.  Worse, a greedy idiot.  With two living children.  Recently I was asked, "Would it really be the worst thing if you ended up with just the two kids?"  Well...no.  And yes.  Believe me we've done our best to convince ourselves that two kids is a fine number. And we know how many people never get to have 2 children, and it isn't often that we forget to be grateful for them. But we just don't feel done yet.  We certainly know we are taking a risk.  Thank you, random question-asker.  

Jerry and I got married 6 months ago.  This July was 10 years together for us, and since we got engaged a year in we were definitely overdue.  I think it took me a few years to figure out that there was never going to be a convenient time to have a wedding.  After Matthew died, we had Roo with no time in between for a non-pregnant, emotionally stable wedding.  Then I wanted to finish nursing school, and Tanner came along right after graduation.  My parents also had a gory divorce when Roo was a few months old, and I found myself not believing much in marriage for awhile.    I have called him my husband to others for so long, I never realized how many people didn't know that we weren't married.  So yeah.  We took the kiddos, our families, and a few friends and went to Las Vegas.  I had a fun little wedding weekend topped off with a white dress, and a 20-minute ceremony.  It was a great time (although if I had it to do over again, I would have left at least 50% of my extended family members at home), and we are happy.  And no, we don't feel any different.  We've been married for a very long time.  We just never got around to celebrating it.  

Other than that, I don't know what else to include in this catch-up post.  We live in the same townhouse (currently house shopping).   I have the same job on the Med/Surg floor, and I just quit my weekend ER job a few weeks ago.  I lasted two years there, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how.  It was my first job out of nursing school and it was really terrible.  Then when I added my Med/Surg job in, I just kept going back to my old job one weekend a month.  The extra money was nice, the extra time away from my family was not.  I mostly love the job I'm at now, but I sometimes resent the commute.  I am also transitioning from part-time to full-time  so I've been feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  

As always, I would really like to post more often.  I miss blogging.  I miss the way it helps me unravel the tangle of thoughts that accumulate in my head sometimes.  Hopefully, now that I've actually logged in and "broken the ice" again, I will increase with both blogging and commenting.